OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it's like iHOP with fire
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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