went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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