youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
