Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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