my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My underwear smells like fireworks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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