My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
