just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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