this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So apparently I’m into choking now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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