dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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