I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
