Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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