That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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