I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize