Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize