i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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