this beer tastes like vomit already
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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