I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
