He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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