How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
