It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
