Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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