i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
