In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
