ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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