She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
operation harelip BJ is a go
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
