Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
