dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
