I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
