Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
