I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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