I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
