If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I faked an abortion last night.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
