The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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