People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
