All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we made out on top of his cat.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
