you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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