I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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