So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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