I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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