i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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