I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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