i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
