U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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