I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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