just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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