so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
