fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
