wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
