Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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