Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
