Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
