It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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