youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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