Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
