dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
