how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
