What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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