my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
