its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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