It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
