I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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