Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
