Are we in a gay sports bar?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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