Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
