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• (720): View more from Colorado

  yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  eat her like coffee?

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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• (585): View more from New York

  Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.

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• (760): View more from California

  It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...

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