i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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