I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
