Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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